AAAHHH!!! Halloween..... those little scamps wandering all over the front yard, jockeying for position to march up those stairs.. being forced to say "Trick or Treat".. to get some FREE GOD DAMN CANDY ! Geesh... Mom... Dad... why do you make me do all of this. Just by me the damn candy !

My son could not remember his best Halloween outfit.. it was , of course, his railroad engineer outfit when he almost two years old. Yes.. we dressed him up and paraded him around the neighborhood, making him say "Trick or Treat".. just to get free candy. Then when we got home, who took the best damn piece.. DAD !! Boy was he cute, especially with all those long blond curls.

Now Halloween is part fun.. and part hassle, especially with the older kids who don't even try anymore. They put on some strange ass shirt or jacket.. and expect free candy. I make them all say

Trick or Treat, Smell my feet
Give me something good to eat.
If you don't, I don't care
I will pull down you underwear !

Do you know HOW MANY kids still know that old rhyme !!
OH WELL. Have fun.. eat all the candy.. make yourselves sick..

BTW, I got four offers to buy my SpongeBob SquarePants T-Shirt !!!